Homophobia and Love

In the readings and our class discussion we touched on homophobia and how society has created this need to fear homosexual couples. Pharr comments in her essay that society perceives being gay and/or lesbian as stepping out of line because they challenge societal standards. I wanted to expand on our ideas from class because I still questioned the notion of fear. Most people try to justify actions with the old saying “people fear what they don’t understand” I have never agreed with this term because my instincts question everything so I can understand. That is what I thought before I started taking this class. On the wide spectrum I never questioned perceived norms that are socially constructed. While fear can still play a role, I think that comfort drives homophobia. The constant need to feel comfortable or to fit in compels both heterosexuals and homosexuals to react. Heterosexuals act in various ways that are usually categorized as homophobic but homosexuals tend to hide their till they become comfortable with their homosexuality.

Keith Olbermann’s essay Gay Marriage Is a Question of Love brought the question of love into the picture rather than just comparing societal norms. After I finished reading his essay it made me think about why is it not a question of love or happiness. Most who oppose gay marriage say it is because the bible says marriage is between a man and a woman or they don’t want to change the definition of marriage. Being that homophobia is created by society because the emphasis is on being heterosexual. Before learning in class about socially constructed terms and actions I always believed that love was emphasized as the most important thing I should achieve. I adopted a policy that I was okay with homosexuality as long as it wasn’t interfering with my life. I had no issues with anyone being gay unless they were trying to hit on me. I now see that even that approach is not the correct solution. Only when society can accept love as the defining characteristic for marriage will the issue of homophobia start to disappear.