After viewing "Ma Vie En Rose" last night in class, I began to think more in depth about what it would be like to be the parents or siblings of Ludowic. It would be a difficult situation to watch your child go through that confusion, yet also a struggle to support him while society frowns upon your encouragement. The movie tied so well to our class discussion, which really emphasized the significance of gender and sexuality. We see it often in our everyday lives, and for some the confusion disrupts and consumes most of the day. In Ludowic's story, his family and neighbors tried to excuse his behavior, pretending his action were appropriate for a seven year old to experiment, when they truthfully disapproved. He never had the chance to explore and learn about different sexualities, he just wanted to be himself without being repressed for his actions.
This subject ties in well with the idea of different races and cultures. Last Wednesday we discussed the ways that races are verbally stereotyped and the best example of discriminating against whites is when a white individual cannot dance hiphop as well as say, an African American person. I can speak for myself and say that I grew up in a ballet studio. Until I was about eight or nine, I had no idea what the hip-hop style even was. I didn't learn at a young age, it was never a part of my culture. Surely, I couldn't walk into those classes wearing my leotard with a bun. It was a process trying to understand different styles of dance, trying to find my favorites and recognizing the styles that challenged me (the styles which I would never actually become good at). Even my senior year at my studio, I was the only pointe solo out of 12 graduating seniors, and two classes of eligible soloists. Nobody understood my love of ballet, how much I practiced the same things repetitively, how critical I was of any other ballerina that I competed against.
The point of mentioning this is to connect my experience with "soul searching", and how I can relate to the confusion, while nobody truly understands. We all face the struggle of decision making, whether it be what's for lunch, or what our sexuality is. Seven year old Ludo sure has a lot of choices to make, and luckily lots of time to search for what he needs to make him happy.
You make a key observation that parents confronted with a situation like one in the film struggle between wanting to do what is best for their child and to simultaneously appear as they are going along with society's norms and values. Who is to say how the neighbors would have reacted had Ludo's family more openly supported his desire to be a girl.
ReplyDeleteI think that is an excellent point. The family's attitude makes a huge difference and even if society still doesn't think it's okay, a little support on the home front goes along way.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in seventh grade, my bestfriend came out to me and told me that she was a lesbian. She introduced me to her girlfriend, another girl from a rival school, and the three of us got along well together. I liked to hang out with the two of them after our basketball games. To me, this information didn't make much of a difference. She was still my bestfriend and I wanted to help her through whatever situation she was faced with. A couple more years passed before she came out to her parents. They were devestated at first and the support wasn't exactly flowing in like she and I had hoped it would. She would call me crying and I would do my best to help her out. I know this news definitely affected her parents relationship; a year later, her father was caught up in the middle of an affair. Her parents worked it out but I knew it was a tough time for them too. Her brother was the same way at times too; he even left her out of his wedding party because of his outlook on her life. What made this situation hard for me was my mormon parents. My step-dad would make comments along the lines of "maybe she'll grow out of it." I just got frustrated in these moments and had to walk away; it was clear he'd never understand.
I'm happy to report now that her family finally came around. It took them some time, but now they happily support her and hang out with her new girlfriend at least twice a week.
Ma Vie En Rose was difficult for me to watch because it reminded me of this. I was filled with mixed emotions of frustration and saddness. We're from a small town so when my friend came out, everyone knew. I always wondered if it would have been better if her parents would have just accepted it from the start and backed her up when questioned by others. The situation has been resolved now, as I said, but my friend went through a lot of arguements to get here. She certainly deserves the respect she's getting now.
I just wish that everyone could be a little more accepting and understanding, especially of their friends and family members. I mean, as soon as Lud's family moved into the new neighborhood, all was well. Maybe we all just need to find the right neighborhood so we can be ourselves.